A blogger named Allie has recently posted about her pet peeves concerning spelling and grammar. One thing that really puts a bee in her bonnet is when people spell “a lot” as one word: “alot.”
She’s thought a lot about “alot,” and drew a picture of the image that came into her mind.
Allie's imagined Alot. Found at http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
She’s incorporated her feelings for Alot in another drawing.
Does Allie care for ALL Alots, or just this one? Found at http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
What kinds of Alots are in Allie’s imagination? All kinds! Like this:
This Alot is hot! Found at http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
When it comes to Alots, Allie reaches out with love and understanding.
Allie listens, Alot. Found at http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
But there’s one thing Allie would like to get straight. When Alots (or anyone else) are spelling “a lot,” they had better make it TWO words, not ONE.
I’ve found some comfort lately in a book called The Tall Book, by Arianne Cohen, who is 6′ 3″.
The Tall Book by Arianne Cohen is a celebration of life from on high. Published by Bloomsbury USA.
This book is written for adults, but tall people of all ages can be glad it’s on the library shelf waiting for them when they need help in unlocking the mysteries at the center of talldom. It’s helped a lot of people already.
“As a twelve-year-old told to act my age and not my shoe size, I could honestly say, ‘They’re the same.’ This is a book for everyone, like me, who grew up (and up) to be proud of their height,” says 6′ 4″ Olympic gold medal basketball player Rebecca Lobo. I’m glad I found it!
The Easter B brings a smile. Photo found at sketchybunnies.com
How can he not turn a frown upside down? After all, he visits the Rainbow Bird every year and shares that miraculous creature’s colorful eggs with the world.
Unfortunately, just like with everything else, there’s another side to the story. Witness the trauma endured by 16-year-old Matt Bunny. The Easter Bunny is his dad, and living with Mr. Hoppity hasn’t exactly been a basket of delight. Let’s hope Matt can get over it and learn to live in peace and joy with Daddy Big Ears. After all, Easter comes just once a year!
Meet Harry Potter. Born in 1989, he had eight peaceful years of being an English schoolboy with an ordinary name before J.K. Rowling came along and published Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone.
His life was never the same after that.
The real-life Harry Potter takes out a little frustration. (c) Caters News Agency Ltd/dailymail.co.uk
“People seem to forget that I was Harry Potter before the character,” says Harry, who is the same age as actor Daniel Radcliffe, who portrays Rowling’s famous boy wizard in the movies. “After 12 years of it, I couldn’t count the amount of times I’ve heard, ‘You’re a wizard, Harry.’ It does wear a bit thin after a while.”
The Muggle Harry does, however, share one important feature with his fictional namesake: a scar on his forehead. Rowling’s Harry got his in a life-or-death struggle with his archenemy, the ultra-evil wizard Lord Voldemort. The real-life Harry Potter ran into a lamp post when he was 15.
The Addams Family's Cousin Itt: It's got its own style. Photo (c) 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment
Jude from Bennington, VT writes:
Dear T,
The school year is well underway for me here at college, and I’m a Teaching Assistant for an English Composition course. I love helping people learn the craft of writing, but I’ve got a big beef. In paper after paper, the students in my classes are confusing IT’S with ITS. These are college kids I’m talking about, not elementary schoolers. If you ask me, they should have figured it out by now.
I don’t want to sound like a nag, but please, please, please let me remind people one more time:
It’s is a contraction for it has or it is. Example: It’s a pleasure to meet you!
Its is a possessive pronoun meaning of it or belonging to it. Example: The fire truck is on its way.
There is NO SUCH WORD as its’, and so THERE IS NO EXAMPLE FOR ITS’!
I appreciate you letting me vent. This has been driving me crazy.
T replies:
You can vent here anytime, Jude, especially when it concerns questions of grammar. I don’t think you’re being a nag, although I do think you sound a little high-strung. If you ask me, you need to unwind a bit. You should rake up a pile of crisp, clean autumn leaves and then jump right into it. All kidding aside, itsand it’s can sometimes fool the best of us, and it’s good to be reminded of its meaning. Thanks for putting its in its place, and it’s in its place, too.
No matter how many times I tidy it up, I’ve always got a messy bedroom. It isn’t fair that Mary Poppins has only got to snap her fingers in order to get a room to straighten up all by itself. Why can’t any of the rest of us have the benefit of that kind of magic?
T replies:
As someone familiar with Mary Poppins, Chiara, you know that she would never allow anyone else to have the benefit of her magic secrets. For reasons of her own, she refuses to admit that she even has any magic secrets. But don’t give up hope. The magic will come after you’ve cleaned up your room, when you gaze in utter astonishment at how nice it all looks and say to yourself, “How the HECK did THAT ever happen?”
BTW—for those who don’t know this already, there are more Mary Poppins books than just the one. Here are a few of them. Each is as good as the first.
Mary Poppins Comes Back
***
Mary Poppins Opens the Door
***
and last, but not least, Mary Poppins in the Park. If I were you, I’d read them all!
While I was strolling home today, I passed my neighbor as he was walking his dog down the street. I’ve said hello to him on several occasions in the past, but he always gave me the impression that he didn’t like that. So this time I kept my eyes pointed in front of me, and I acted like he didn’t exist. I don’t know if he liked that any better, but there are people like him in the world. You’ve probably met one or two. When they give you the Cold Shoulder, there’s nothing else you can do but Carry On in a positive manner and hope for a better tomorrow.
Here is a photo of Leonid Stadnik, who lives in Russia, found at usatoday.com. At 8' 5", he is the tallest person in the world. The tallest person in history stood at 8' 11".
Gadi from Los Angeles, CA writes:
Hey, T,
I’m thirteen years old and already I’m about as tall as a house. I hit my head on everything, and I’ve just about had it. As a tall person, how do you cope with the hassle?
T replies:
Sorry to hear that you suffer from excessive height, Gadi. It’s a blessing and a curse, as you know. Yes, I am tall. Six foot seven, to be exact. I’m glad I’m not growing anymore because I don’t think I could stand to be any taller than that.
The only way to cope with the hassle of being extremely tall is to carry on as best you can despite bashing your noggin every now and then. I’ve hit my poor head on more things than I can remember, but one unfortunate incident stands out.
Once, while I was unloading the dishwasher, I left the cupboard door open. I bent down to get a bowl out of the dishwasher, and when I straightened up, I cracked my head open on the cupboard door. There was so much blood I thought I would keel over. It’s not a happy story. Whatever you do, watch your head when you’re around cupboard doors!
UPDATE!
Apparently, Leonid Stadnik declined to be measured again this year, and so the Guinness World Records title of tallest person in the world for 2009 has been bestowed upon Sultan Kosen from Turkey. At 8′ 1″ tall, he is perhaps the only human able to look Leonid Stadnik in the eye.
Photo of 2009 Guinness World Records' tallest person in the world Sultan Kosen (c) AP photo/Kirsty Wigglesworth
Have you ever had a bad dream so awful and scary that it turned your very blood to ice? I have, and I didn’t like it one single bit. Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes I enjoy a good scary dream. But a genuine nightmare is something else entirely. I have learned to solve the problem by reminding myself, before I fall asleep, that I am in charge of my dreams and not the other way around. If I’m dreaming about something that makes me feel bad, I jump in and tell myself (while I’m still asleep), “I don’t like this dream. I want to dream about something else!” And then sure enough, I do.
I still have bad dreams, but they don’t last long before I stop them in their tracks. And that’s a big relief!
I just can’t tell you how much I think adults are dumb. From morning, noon, till night, adults are dumb, dumb, dumb. The dumbest thing about them is that they think kids are dumber than they are. If kids are so dumb, then how come I can tell that adults are dumber than dumb? That’s pretty smart of me, I think, ha-ha!
T replies:
I’m sure you’re smart, George, but you seem to have forgotten that I AM AN ADULT. If you haven’t forgotten that important fact, and aren’t simply messing around with me, I must say I admire you for expressing your feelings to my face and not behind my back. Still, I can’t help thinking something else besides dumb adults is at the heart of your problem. I suggest you take a nap and think things over. I take as many naps as I can, and they keep me from flying off the handle at any silly thing that pops into my head.
Life is full of choices. Some are difficult, some are easy, but no matter what, whenever you're given a choice, you learn a little something about yourself. With that in mind, I choose ...
Oatmeal or Cream of Wheat? Oatmeal.
Fireworks or carnival rides? Fireworks.
Sno-Cones or Snowballs? Sno-Cones.
Carrot or celery? Carrot.
Strawberry jam or grape jelly? Strawberry jam.
Monkeys or penguins? Monkeys.
Glue stick or glue bottle? Glue stick.
Nachos or French fries? Nachos.
Darth Vadar or Darth Maul? Darth Vadar.
Darth Sidious or Darth Maul? Darth Maul.
Darth Maul or General Grievous? General Grievous.
Clones or battle droids? Clones.
"Aye, aye" or "Roger, roger"? "Roger, roger."
Crab or lobster? Crab.
Aquarium or zoo? Aquarium.
Bungee jumping or parachuting? Parachuting.
Curly or straight? Curly.
Stripes or polka-dots? Polka-dots.
Offend or defend? Defend.
Crossword or Sudoku? Crossword.
Text or email? Text.
Space Mountain or Splash Mountain? Splash Mountain.
Waffles or pancakes? Waffles.
Making something or buying something? Making something.
