Posted: April 24th, 2010 | Author: T | Filed under: T Writes | Tags: Advice, Artwork, Definitions, Funny, Personal Issues, Writing | 4 Comments »
A blogger named Allie has recently posted about her pet peeves concerning spelling and grammar. One thing that really puts a bee in her bonnet is when people spell “a lot” as one word: “alot.”
She’s thought a lot about “alot,” and drew a picture of the image that came into her mind.
Allie's imagined Alot. Found at http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
She’s incorporated her feelings for Alot in another drawing.
Does Allie care for ALL Alots, or just this one? Found at http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
What kinds of Alots are in Allie’s imagination? All kinds! Like this:
This Alot is hot! Found at http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
When it comes to Alots, Allie reaches out with love and understanding.
Allie listens, Alot. Found at http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
But there’s one thing Allie would like to get straight. When Alots (or anyone else) are spelling “a lot,” they had better make it TWO words, not ONE.
Posted: September 15th, 2009 | Author: T | Filed under: Letters to T | Tags: Advice, Artwork, Books, Writing | 8 Comments »
Eric from Columbus, OH writes:
Dear T,
I’m writing a book about the adventures of a street lamp and a telephone pole, and I’m drawing the pictures for it, too. The only problem is, Lampy and Poley are stuck in the ground and can’t go anywhere. All they can do is tell Knock Knock jokes. What should I do about that?
Drawing of Lampy and Poley by Eric
T replies:
I say keep ‘em telling Knock Knock jokes, Eric. The world could use a few more of those. With all the problems we have to face every day, we can all use a good laugh!
Posted: August 29th, 2009 | Author: T | Filed under: Letters to T | Tags: Advice, Animals, Artwork, Cartoons, Education, Poetry | 2 Comments »
(c) Jay Ward Productions
Lawry from New Haven, CT writes:
Dear T,
I am a professor of Poetry at a prestigious university, and I am disappointed that you have turned to Bullwinkle the Moose to elucidate what you rightly describe as “the Music of the Soul.”
In my view, Bullwinkle the Moose has little to no understanding of the finer points of poetic expression. May I direct you to Robert Louis Stevenson, whose verse entitled The Swing is everything a poem should be and more. I hope you enjoy it.
The Swing
by Robert Louis Stevenson
How do you like to go up in a swing,
Up in the air so blue?
Oh, I do think it the pleasantest thing
Ever a child can do!
Up in the air and over the wall,
Till I can see so wide,
River and trees and cattle and all
Over the countryside—
Till I look down on the garden green,
Down on the roof so brown—
Up in the air I go flying again,
Up in the air and down!
T replies:
Welcome, Lawry! I yield to no one in my admiration for Scottish novelist, poet, essayist, and travel writer Robert Louis Stevenson, author of the adventure novel Treasure Island, among other classic works. But I also admire Bullwinkle the Moose. You are obviously not aware of the fact that Bullwinkle received an Honorary Mooster’s Degree from his alma mater, Wossamatta U. Or that he recited Robert Louis Stevenson’s The Swing in the very first episode of The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends. You should check it out sometime. It’s on hulu.com.
Bullwinkle going up in a swing, up in the air so ... orange? (c) Jay Ward Productions
Posted: August 2nd, 2009 | Author: T | Filed under: Letters to T | Tags: Advice, Bummers, Personal Issues | 3 Comments »
Here is a photo of Leonid Stadnik, who lives in Russia, found at usatoday.com. At 8' 5", he is the tallest person in the world. The tallest person in history stood at 8' 11".
Gadi from Los Angeles, CA writes:
Hey, T,
I’m thirteen years old and already I’m about as tall as a house. I hit my head on everything, and I’ve just about had it. As a tall person, how do you cope with the hassle?
T replies:
Sorry to hear that you suffer from excessive height, Gadi. It’s a blessing and a curse, as you know. Yes, I am tall. Six foot seven, to be exact. I’m glad I’m not growing anymore because I don’t think I could stand to be any taller than that.
The only way to cope with the hassle of being extremely tall is to carry on as best you can despite bashing your noggin every now and then. I’ve hit my poor head on more things than I can remember, but one unfortunate incident stands out.
Once, while I was unloading the dishwasher, I left the cupboard door open. I bent down to get a bowl out of the dishwasher, and when I straightened up, I cracked my head open on the cupboard door. There was so much blood I thought I would keel over. It’s not a happy story. Whatever you do, watch your head when you’re around cupboard doors!
UPDATE!
Apparently, Leonid Stadnik declined to be measured again this year, and so the Guinness World Records title of tallest person in the world for 2009 has been bestowed upon Sultan Kosen from Turkey. At 8′ 1″ tall, he is perhaps the only human able to look Leonid Stadnik in the eye.
Photo of 2009 Guinness World Records' tallest person in the world Sultan Kosen (c) AP photo/Kirsty Wigglesworth
